Is It Time to Upgrade?

This is the time in most people's lives when everything has to be weighted in order to make the right decision. I have grown so attached to you. I don’t know if life will still be worth living without you. I have already placed a permanent spot for you in my life my 1 year old Nokia 3310.

I’m not really sure of its actual age. My then flat mate sold it to me after getting bored with it. It’s only been with him for 2 weeks. I can’t blame him. 3310 became boring after the turn of the millennium. Yep, right after everyone drooled at the then popular 5110. Caller ID was classified as an innovation, 3 minutes later it became a thing of the past.

Mobile phones are evolving faster that anything else we’ve ever seen. A million years from now, paleontologist will call our time the mobile phone era in the epoch of information technology. Maybe I should fossilize my phone and donate it to the nearest museum of outdated technology.

I’m not big on phones. This is due to two separate instances of phone theft. The fist one happened in a bar before I even started drinking. In an instant after a pee break my 3660 was gone. That was my first annual bonus down the drain. It did give me the reason the get stinking drunk. After that I decided to downgrade, thinking that thieves go for models that stink of easy cash. I was wrong. Even my previously owned 5210 was also stolen. This time on a bus on my way home, why did I not take a taxi?!

Not wanting to waste any more money I agreed to buy my ultra basic 3310. Who needs a fancy phone? I can’t even burn a P300 call card in a month. I know how to take advantage of Chikka and Skype. Even yahoo has SMS feature. Why buy a 24/7 call and text card when all my friends buy it? If they need me they will call me. If I need them then that’s the only time I will burn 6.50 a minute.

So is it time to make an upgrade? I guess it is when a 3310 decides to let go of it's ghost. I need a new phone! A 3310i!

I'm in love with a Bear

Yes you got that right. Scuba Divah is in love with a Bear. No, not the kind of bear we queens are familiar with. His name is BEAR GRYLLS.










I was browsing the tube last night I stumbled upon "Man Vs. Wild" on Discovery Channel. He was on a balloon and was talking about surviving in the wild. Before he sat on the edge of the basket he talked about breaking his back in 3 places from a parachuting accident (One true blue Brokeback experience, the closest I have to this is when I broke my back twice in bed, don't ask! It will have a space in here sometime I the future).




Anyway, after that revelation he fell on his back and was hanging on a parachute yet again lading somewhere in Kenya where he was to encounter the African wilderness with nothing but a knife and water container.




On this survival escapade, he drank water from squeezed elephant dung, made fire out of the same excrement and ate some lion's leftover zebra. All I needed is one episode of his show to desire his fingerlings. Who could resist a man's man? I googled him today and read about other thing he did in some of his episodes. Some of them are gross but I admire how he pushes his limit in order to survive.

This is his version of sushi.













His menu consist of sheep's eye on a socket, urine in a bottle and sea urchin for appetizer. However exotic his menu is I will still pay to have dinner with him.

Don't you find him hot yet?









How about a state of undress?









Yum!




I dont think you have seen enough of him yet so here, bask in the glory of his hotness. Trust me, this will make you drool.













Whoever was his cameraman above is one damn lucky fag (if he ever was).

Anyway, not only is he an exciting specimen of a man he also has a heart of diamond. Not only is he fist man to paraglyde above mount everest, he used that stint for charity raising $1 Mil. He's also a karate black belter and was part of the British Air Service for 3 years. That's a couple of costume fantasies for you ladies!

I have a lot of other things to say about him but I will let you just find out for yourselves. Check out his website www.beargrylls.com. Did I say he has written some books too? Any of those will be part of my Christmas wish list.



Mr. Grylls: if you are reading this - I want your babies! Of course copies of your books will do too.





I wish he was a diver. He'd be the perfect dive buddy. I need to learn some survival skills underwater and I'm sure I will remember everything he will say. Especially if he would let me help him get in his wet suit.





I leave you with this fun clip of him with Conan. You ought to excuse me. I think Mr. Grylls is calling me on my mobile. Oh! Did I also say he's British. THAT'S HOT!

Nth Attempt

So why am I here to blog again? I have been infected by this blog virus a couple of times. Both became forgotten virtual pages. You know…when the domain deletes your site due to inactivity. I think I'm here to challenge my ADD. Duh! I now believe people who claim they have ADD are just bored. Like me!

My life is definitely not as exciting as those celebrities who end up in rehab. Not that I want to be in rehab but a stint in an institution as such may add color to my monochromatic life. It really is not as boring as it sound but I will just let you be the judge of that.

Like most of us with functioning cerebral system I am plagued by moments of thought overflow. I need to let these ideas galloping in my head out of their stable. Imagine I was She-ra, my ideas Swiftwind.

I need to stamp my experiences, past, present and future, somewhere. Blogging should fulfill this need. A friend with good ears should suffice but as any person pretending to have writing skills I have to have a place to mix all these letters. I consider this site my kitchen and readers the restaurant guests who will never send their food back (hint!). Criticisms are welcome as long as you keep them to yourselves. LOL!

I am hoping this will be my point of no return. Looking back, I realized having a hundred ideas at a time is not healthy. I should learn how to filter these thoughts to come up with cohesive entries. Maybe, just maybe my mind was creating nothing but brain excrement eventually clogging the flow of neurons. Like stroke it caused my past blogs' sudden deaths. This is surely not the appropriate time to second guess myself! This then will be a battle against myself. Think Kylie Minogue in her "You Did It Again" music video. And while you muster in the brilliance of my metaphor please excuse me. I have to choose which horse to unleash next.